Ten Ways to Procrastinate

A few tips that can help you avoid getting shit done.  Or it you want to look at it from a different perspective: What Not To Do.  

10. Put on The Newsroom.  After awhile, you won’t even remember where you are, or that there’s a pile of homework awaiting.

9. Make lists, like this very one you’re reading.  The time it took me to write this, I could have my algebra finished…

8. Twiddle your thumbs. Hey, this counts as exercise!

7. Walk the dog. It may be 110° outside, there’s a good chance you’ll melt, and Fido may give you the evil eye all day long, but hey the dog’s not going to walk himself.  Don’t have a dog?  Borrow your neighbor’s.  Procrastinating means being resourceful!

6. Eat stuff. Preferably food, it’s up to you really, as to what you put in your mouth.

5. Make a cape out of your favorite blanket. Then parade around the house in it, feeling so accomplished.

4. Kern. Now that I can kern like there’s no tomorrow, I like to do it to pass the time.  There’s that handy dandy little kerning game that I enjoy so much.

3. Contemplate the meaning of life. Why are we here?  What is our purpose?  What does it even mean?  Why do I have a massive cowlick in my hair?

2. Fall into Facebook. It really is like falling down a deep well, with no stepping-stones to climb out, and no one hears your screaming.  Maybe it’s not that dramatic, but when you look at the clock next you wonder how six hours went by.

1. Look at something shiny. Sometimes you just can’t help your-

…self from looking.

Back from Summer Break…wait that was the break?!

Hey good lookin,

It feels like forever and a half since I last “blogged”  and by blog I mean not social network like my life depended on it.  Basically I had my finals for last quarter, final grades scored all A’s and a B (damn you Copywriting, why did you have to be so early?!?!).

Summer break (three weeks) consisted of me working and zoning out in front of the tube watching True Blood (or should I say drooling over the viking sex god vampire Eric Northman) and Game of Thrones marathons.  Pro: I am all caught up on my HBO, Con: now I have to wait for each episode to air like the rest of the world.  I don’t know how I will go on.

I also made a 300 page yoga manual, complete with illustrations and nifty layouts.  Had my first experience with a large print document and learned that master pages are your friend when doing manuals.  Also learned to make friends with local printers.  Kinko’s/FedEx wanted $150 per bound manual, the client’s friend who just so happened to own a printing press, only charged $50.  Kissing-ass is now on my to-do list.

Hmm what else has happened?  The other night my totally sober friends decided that mini golf in the street was essential to the evening, followed by pushing me in the pool wearing my socks.  I have the nicest pals.

My first business cards for a client were sent off and printed.  Most stressful day of my life, no joke.  They came out pretty snazzy thank heavens.  Whew.

 

I finished branding two three clients, one of them being myself.  Decided that “Kerning Kelsey” will be my brand of everything and how I present myself at graduation.  Having to design your own brand is like having an identity crisis.  At first I thought that having my blog persona as my brand would be cheesy, but having three teachers agree that it works, I’m so thankful.

Also, I have replaced my inconvenient copywriting with college algebra…or as I like to call it: suicide wishing, thoughts of jumping off bridges, complete with a weekly panic attack, seventh dimension of hell.  I hate math, if you didn’t notice.  I am directing a photo shoot this Thursday, so that should be lots of fun.  My client even asked me to be in a few of the shots, which was the most flattering compliment ever 🙂

Well I think I have procrastinated long enough on my Cajun cookbook.  Back to work.  Toodles.

Graphic Design Nightmare

Just woke up from my first ever graphic design nightmare.  I dreamt I had to print out this huge job for a client and I forgot to outline my fonts.  So when I got the prints everything was in comic sans. 

I swear to God, I literally jolted out of bed. The fact that everything was turned into comic sans shows how ridiculous my dream was since it should have been in Myriad Pro or whatever the PC default is.  Haha I’m critiquing the unrealistic quality of my dream.  I’m going back to bed, good morning world!

I found the secret to graphic design!!

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN SPOKEN TO AND ENLIGHTENED BY THE DESIGN GODS AND THEY GAVE ME THE SECRET TO THE UNIVERSE..HOPEFULLY MY BRAIN DOESN’T EXPLODE.

     Read a book today that completely changed my entire approach to designing. Basically it talked about not even logging on the computer until you have a concrete idea and sketches for your design and use the computer to execute your vision. Sitting in front of illustrator, moving fonts around is not having an idea. The computer is a tool for executing your idea not obtaining your idea. I have done that a million times, waiting for the screen to give me the solution.
Copying stock photos from google is not creating something original. It said to use your voice. I am seriously mind blown by this book, and am now starting over with my client’s entire logo. It literally listed all of the things I had been doing and explained why it was wrong. I am turning a new leaf with designing, and I FINALLY GET IT.  

The secret to graphic design is to have an idea.  It’s the simplest of things yet the base of all that is beautiful.

#ahhamoment

How Marilyn changed my life

I was 9 years old when I first encountered Marilyn Monroe.  I don’t remember how this happened, I just know that it did.  I was in the 3rd grade, and was assigned by my teacher, a research project about any famous person of our choosing.  Being that it was the 90’s, most of my fellow classmates were doing Mariah Carey or the members of Backstreet Boys.  I chose to do Marilyn.  A little back story: I wasn’t influenced by my parents.  She’s not exactly the sort of topic that we discussed in length over pork chops at dinner.

Suffice it to say, I loved everything about her.  She was the most radiant, beautiful, charismatic, person I had ever seen.  She had a dazzling smile that I could never imitate quite right in the mirror.  Anybody that could have that much of an impact on culture long after, was important indeed.

Over the years, I’ve kept her in mind.  She helped me discover my confidence when I was feeling down, proving that you don’t have to be a size 2 to be beautiful.  I watched her on-screen, and she taught me something important: never take yourself too seriously.  Life is too short and Marilyn tried to live hers to the fullest.  I idolize her to this day, and always ask myself: what would Marilyn do?

Happy Birthday Marilyn, and thank you for the lessons you have taught me.